Slideshow image

On Thanksgiving Day, my cousin posted two pictures on Facebook of Thanksgivings gone by. She wrote “Do you remember Grandma Skeen’s favorite holiday?” We all know it was Thanksgiving.  Grandma loved to cook, especially for grateful people. She was always stirring up something for a neighbor, a friend, a loved one, or just because. Looking at those pictures on Facebook this week made my mouth water. I could almost taste her raisin cream pie. I could smell the turkey and stuffing. I could hear the laughter and the joy of years gone by.

Grandma worked for days on Thanksgiving. I know because I often helped her.  Christmas was no different.  She made peanut brittle and sent it wrapped in shoe boxes with brown paper around them to every family member. All this stirring up, wrapping up, preparation reminds me of the work of Advent.

Advent is the season when we prepare to welcome the Christ into our lives and our homes. Just as we get ready for guests, during Advent, Christians get ready to experience God afresh in our lives.

That is why the title “Stirring Up Advent - Recipes for Relationships” intrigued me. As a church, we will be discovering this season how God’s relationship with us impacts our relationships with others. Today, the theme is covenant. The themes for the other Advent Sundays are: grace, empowerment, and intimacy. These are essential elements for successful relationships.

In our scripture lesson for today, there is a general theme of commitment – of covenant – of promise. Jeremiah 33: 14-16. “The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will fulfill the promise I made to the house of Israel and the house of Judah. In those days and at that time I will cause a righteous Branch to spring up for David; and he shall execute justice and righteousness in the land. In those days Judah will be saved and Jerusalem will live in safety. And this is the name by which it will be called: “The Lord is our righteousness.”

The stories in the Hebrew Bible have a theme running through them – it is that God promises the people that one day there will be a Messiah – who would reconcile God and the people. The Messiah would bring people into a renewed relationship with God and with one another.

There is a major difference between the words “covenant” and “contract”. Does anyone want to try to unpack the difference? A contract is a legal term for a deal between two parties. Usually people enter into a contract with the hope that it will stick… but an awareness that it can be broken if things don’t work out…

“But, judge, you wouldn’t believe what living with her was like!  As soon as we got married, she turned into another person.”

“When we agreed for you to do this work, I thought you would be here everyday until this job was done. You can’t just come and go and leave the roof uncovered when rain is forecast. You’re fired!”

“I have suffered through heartache, and I have struggled to do my best, but I can’t manage this teenager anymore. That’s why I’m dropping him off at the children’s home. He has become unmanageable. I simply don’t know what else to do.”

Contracts are supposed to be binding, but in our world, they don’t always work out. The contracts we make are based on commitments. We make commitments every day in our words to those with whom we are in relationship.  We tell someone we’ll be there at a certain time. We tell our co-workers we’ll take care of the job. We say we will fulfill a role in our church or in a volunteer position. We offer to help in whatever way we can. These are commitments we’ve made – we’ve given our word.

And when these promises are not kept, something is lost. The French have a phrase “petit mort”, which means “little death.” When people don’t do what they said, there’s a little death – the death of trust.

A covenant, on the other hand, is a sacred bond based on eternal love. Covenants stand the test of time.  When we marry, we make a covenant. When we become a Christian, we enter a covenant with God. When a minister and a congregation choose each other, it is a covenantal relationship.

“Instead of arguing about a divorce, let’s talk to a counselor and figure out how to communicate. I’m furious with you and it will take time, but we can work it out.”

“I’m going to hold you to this contract. You’ve made a deal to fix this roof and I’m expecting that you will follow through until it is done. I’m not releasing you from the deal we have.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Dropping that kid off at the children’s home is tempting. I’m beside myself about what to do. But he’s my son and I’m sticking with him until he turns around. I love him too much to quit now.”

I like the story told by world-famous tenor Luciano Pavarotti:
“When I was a boy, my father introduced me to the wonders of song. He urged me to work very hard to develop my voice. Arrigo Pola, a professional tenor in my hometown of Modena, Italy, took me as a pupil. I also enrolled in a teacher’s college. On graduating, I asked my father, ‘Shall I be a teacher or a singer?’ ‘Luciano,’ my father replied, if you try to sit on two chairs, you will fall between them. For life, you must choose one chair.’ I chose one. It took seven years of study and frustration before I made my first professional appearance. It took another seven to reach the Metropolitan Opera. And now I think whether it’s laying bricks, writing a book – whatever we choose – we should give ourselves to it.  Commitment, that’s the key.  Choose one chair.”

The Christ child is coming this Advent season. What will we do to prepare for his arrival? One thing we can do is to realize that our belief in God-with-us empowers us in our relationships. “We love because he first loved us.” Jesus comes to wrap his love around us and to restore us, and to teach us how to love for keeps; how to be covenantal people.

And that brings us to the recipe card you received as you entered the sanctuary this morning. Each week during Advent, you will receive a recipe card to take home as a reminder of that week’s lesson on relationships. To make a covenant, you need certain ingredients:

·       Two people or two sets of people. You can make a promise to yourself, but a covenant requires two parties. Covenants can also be made between God and people. 

·       Both parties enter into the covenant after they have prepared and prayed to discern if this is a covenant for them.  Because a covenant is unchangeable and binding, it is to be undertaken with a great amount of consideration. This means that the quick “deals” we sometimes made with God like: “If this test comes out benign, then I will go to church every Sunday” doesn’t qualify for a covenant!

·       A covenant includes promises that each person makes to the other. These are clearly defined promises, including the conditions of blessing if the promises are kept and punishment if the promises are broken.

·       The next ingredient for covenants is the exchange of a symbol or an outward sign of these promises made. In the ancient world, the act of making a covenant was solidified in the act of sacrificing an animal and walking inbetween two halves of the slain animal. The implication was, “Thus may it be done to you and more if you do not uphold the covenant.” Other Biblical symbols of a covenant included circumcision, festivals to celebrate the new covenant, baptism, and communion.

·       After the covenant is made, both parties are expected to compromise – and even sacrifice – to uphold the covenant. This ingredient is essential in covenant keeping.

·       Along with sacrifice and compromise, covenants require a large amount of forgiveness. 

·       When a covenant is kept, the promise of blessing is realized. In every Biblical covenant is a promise of blessing. These blessings ranged from continued health and life to a blessing of children. The blessing of a well-kept covenant is recognizable and speaks of the sacred bonds between the covenant participants.

These are the essential elements for covenantal relationships. It is my prayer that we all grow in our relationships as we stir up Advent!